Cranky Pants. . .

An excerpt from FATHER WILLIAM
By Lewis Carroll

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
 
"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again. . ."

Have you ever wondered why the older generation can at times appear to be a bit irritable and impatient? Recently, I had a close up and personal experience with this phenomenon. You see, younger folks would consider me to be part of that “older” generation! Now, I do not see myself in that light of course. My husband just passed his 60th birthday and that means I am following close behind but we have decided to go with the “60 is the new 50” ideal. This is much more comfortable for us!

I was shopping one evening after work at a local, discount, superstore, which shall remain nameless. I had thought that after the holidays, people would stay home! But no, apparently there were hundreds of others like myself that needed something from this particular store and apparently it was necessary for them to bring their extended families and all their children with them! With perseverance, I did my poor best to navigate the crowded isles without taking out any of the small rowdy shoppers.

I gathered my items and proceeded to the checkout. There were at least 10 check-stands but only 2 were open. I got into line prepared to patiently wait; however, my patience waned at about the 10 minute mark. I’m not sure what the issue was but I finally reached the check out and smiled expectantly at the clerk. I was anticipating some kind of acknowledgement of my extraordinary patience; however, the clerk seemed uninterested in my accomplishment. She didn’t offer a smile or a greeting; in fact, she seemed to view me as just one more aggravation in her day. I, of course, was instantly irritated! I thought my long suffering deserved at least a “Hello, how was your day?”

Needless to say, that set the tone for the rest of my shopping trip. I made my way to a take-out pizza store. The red-shirted, pizza making marionettes were lined up behind the pizza bar. When I walked in, they immediately smiled brightly and in unison, cried out, “Hello! Welcome! How can we help you?” I was instantly irritated! I gave them my order without a smile or an acknowledgment of their good spirits. When my order was finished, they handed it over with a “Thank you for coming in! Have a nice evening!” I left the store without returning their good humor.

On my way home, I checked my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of my own face. To my consternation, my reflection was cranky! I realized that I had put on cranky pants without missing a beat! What had triggered this paradoxical response to my situation? I have some theories. As we age, we deal with physical aches and pains that weren’t present in our youth. Add to that an increasing awareness of our own mortality. Those two things alone could cause crankiness! I find I have less tolerance for the indiscretions of youth and less patience for stupidity, noise, bad manners and the list could go on (I’m laughing at myself now!).

I am not normally (my family may dispute this) a cranky person. A friend once told me, “The older we get, the more like ourselves we become,” so there in my car, I had a proverbial “Comin’ to Jesus” meeting. I know that I have the ability to control my crankiness. I’m not at the mercy of my fluctuating emotions. I am not entitled to a bad attitude because the rest of the world does not comply with my exacting standards! I don’t even comply with those!

In short, I had a good chuckle at my own expense and as I headed home to my husband, my son and three of my five grandchildren, I remembered that I have a great deal to be thankful for! First and foremost, I am getting older, which absolutely beats the alternative and second, I get to clean up on all those great senior discounts!

 ". . . You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so awfully clever?"
 
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!"

Artist--John Tenniel